Sunshine and Shame: The Ultimate Remedy for Teenage Bullying
Teenage bullying is a situation that has been with us for
a long time and has recently become high profile as several teen suicides have
been linked to it. Fortunately, there is good news connected to this negative
teen behavior depending on how we want to look at it.
Consider this an opportunity rather than as just another problem . Abortion? Immigration? Too much
government? Too much business/marketplace influence? Teenage bullying is one
subject all of us in
our fractious society can agree on.
Its bad and we should-----if we can------eliminate it. So let's begin by being positive.
Bullying is a product of
the "teen peer subculture". Teenagers live in their own world and have their
own ways of communicating. It is a systemic issue
and all successful interventions ( so far) have in effect targeted the entire
culture--usually public school culture ("you need to pay attention to what the
kids are doing"- - - prevention expert Marlene Snyder, quoted in The Bully Problem, Christian Science
Monitor, May 3,2010)
It is precisely because
bullying arises from the
peer subculture that there is reason for hope. The prevailing wisdom and
virtually all our current programming regard the peer group as an absolute
negative to be minimized and controlled by whatever means necessary. Yet we
have a significant amount of research and considerable empirical evidence that
teaches us how to turn the peer group into an absolute positive, and thereby
unleash the caring, concern and clear cut accountability that
teenagers consistently demonstrate when we adults create the right conditions
for such qualities to emerge. The Los Angles area has long used Teen Courts as
an effective and economical juvenile justice practice and has found that teens,
if anything, are harder on their peers than adults. When we have the courage to
structure our interventions using the teen peer group as an asset rather than a
liability, we create the opportunity to virtually eliminate the scourge of teen
bullying.
How is this done?
Individual school districts, beginning with the Executive and the school board,
would design and implement a specific system (policy) patterned after the rule of law.
What constitutes bullying would be precisely defined.
Teens themselves would serve as prosecutor, defense attorney, judge and jury. A
Wall of Shame list
of those convicted by their peers would be established. Offenders could be
sentenced to the Hall of Shame, an
after school remedial group therapy gathering run by knowledgeable
professionals. Teens could work their way out of the Hall and off
the Wall
by demonstrating to their
peer sentencing authority that they had indeed "learned their lesson".
What is the single most
important thing in the life of a teenager? "What do my friends (and other peers) think of me? (!)". Shame, in and of itself, can be a
powerful motivational tool especially with teens. A teen who has been so
identified will really think twice about bullying others.
The process of developing and implementing such a
policy will bring the entire school community together just as previously
indifferent neighbors instantly cooperate in the face of a natural disaster
that impacts all of them And it's cheap-----no highly paid outside consultants,
no equipment, no capital outlay, everything done through the grass roots.
How about cyber--bullying? Another opportunity,
only this time instead of a school district, it's an opportunity for an entire
community, or township, to work together to implement basically the same model.
Legal issues? As long as the punishment is voluntary
meaning that it is not a legal violation and once again those
found guilty through "due process" are publically shamed in some specific
way---- there should be no problem. And besides, it might be interesting to see
what our Supreme Court might say about a well managed, internally consistent
,inexpensive and totally effective local program initiated and driven by total
citizen involvement and consensus!
Negatives? Working with
teens in a continuing group situation and with the teen peer group is like running a nuclear power plant. No complacency is allowed. And those of us
trained and immersed in zero tolerance theory and practice may have some
trouble contemplating the idea of positive
peer pressure which is the engine that will drive this initiative. But be
of good cheer. All of us have a
right---brain hemisphere and it's just as big as our left brain is! All we
really need to do is bring it out of hibernation and begin to practice with
it"".
Sunshine and shame. Expose
offenders to the kind of ridicule and derision that only teenagers can
instantly generate. Create a climate in which secretive macho support for
bullying turns into scorn and sanctions. By the kids themselves. We have the
tools to do it. Do we have the will?
Country Joe College
is the pseudonym of a local youth worker who wishes to remain anonymous.
Other Voices
(From "How to Provide Effective Peer Support Services
To Teens"---Youth Today, April 2010)
" Recruit youth counselors from different cliques and walks
of life(jocks preps ,geeks ,etc"-create a structure that lets the youths steer
the content and direction of meetings, even if they're not actually running the
group"
" Youths sometimes respond to the interventions of other
youths better than to that of adults"
" With adults on the sidelines, youths become more open and
comfortable---it's reassuring to talk to someone your own age who has gone
through what you have gone through" ( from Jessica Grimm, Youth Forum,
Syracuse,NY)
" Often the best advice these kids get is the advice they
receive from one another, not the adults" (Brenda Spevlin, Toledo Ray, Toledo,
Ohio)
( From "How to Promote leadership Skills through Sports"
Youth Today, Feb 2010)
" In most communities, teenagers are looked at as vulnerable
and as threats. We see them as inspired assets" (Sam Intrator, Professor and
Co-Founder of Project Coach, Smith College (Massachusetts)